I’ve created this page to make it easy to find all my blogs on attachment styles and how to move towards secure attachment. I’m fascinated by attachment theory and, for some people I work with, it can be a really useful lens of exploration.

Attachment styles mainly form in early childhood, based on how consistently our needs for warmth, love and safety were met. They’re not a flaw or a life sentence – they’re protective patterns that made brilliant sense at the time. But those same patterns may not serve us so well as we become capable adults ourselves. Some clues that an “insecure” attachment style may still be showing up include:

  • Struggling to trust people, or trusting too easily and getting hurt
  • Pulling away just as things start to feel close or serious
  • Needing constant reassurance, or feeling like you’re always the one chasing
  • Shutting down or going quiet during conflict, rather than working through it
  • Overthinking texts, silences, or someone’s tone

  • Craving closeness and then pulling away as soon as you get it

  • Struggling to ask for help, or not really knowing how
  • Ending relationships before they get too serious

  • Finding is hard to save money, or to spend money

  • Swinging between pulling people in and pushing them away
  • Feeling unsafe both with distance and with closeness, so nothing feels quite right
  • Finding relationships confusing or chaotic, even when you can’t explain why

  • Feeling like you have to keep moving – changing jobs, homes, towns…

  • And more…

None of this means you’re broken. It means your younger self found a genuinely clever way to stay safe – and this series is about gently updating that pattern, so it stops running your adult life.

These are the blogs:

Attachment Styles Explained: Why You Attach the Way You Do

5 Simple Steps to Start Healing Avoidant Attachment

The Secrets and Vulnerabilities of a Semi-Healed Avoidant (Me!)

Not sure which style is yours? My Attachment Style Quiz can help you find out – just send me an email and I’ll whizz it over to you.

And if you’d like some steady, non-judgemental support and insight while you work through any of this, let’s talk. My exploratory call is free, and there’s no pressure either way.