So, here we are again. Winter's back, with its familiar pull to slow down, retreat, and go inward. I used to hate this time of year, but now I've learned that winter isn't something to endure – it's something to embrace; an art to be practiced. In Traditional Chinese Medicine, Winter is the season of ultimate yin – cold, dark, hidden, internal. And for many, it can be a difficult time. The cold, the dark, the winding down of [...]
So last time, I was banging on about the benefits of boredom (read the full blog here). There's a flip side to giving our brains some wandering time – and that's giving it some proper focused, undistracted time too. Different but similar, in it’s all about taking away those diversions and brain whirls that keep us distracted, unfocused, frazzled, inefficient… This week, I’ve come across the work of Cal Newport and his concept of "deep work". What is [...]
When was the last time you were properly bored? Not "waiting for the kettle to boil whilst scrolling your phone" bored, but nothing to do, nothing to distract you, alone with nothing but your own thoughts bored? If you’re anything like me, it’s probably a long time ago. I’m a chronic multi-tasker and often to attached to my phone, scrolling in spare minutes or with a podcast blasting away (much to Mr B’s irritation at times). The benefits [...]
Ok, so last time we were looking at radical self-honesty. The power of being really honest with ourselves – and even being really honest with others about ourself. Looking deep within and acknowledging, even sharing, those shady parts - releasing shame, learning acceptance and flourishing. But what do you think about radical honesty with others, at all times? Welcome to the world of Radical Honesty. So what is radical honesty? Radical honesty is just what it sounds [...]
Ok, let’s be honest. We lie to ourselves constantly… “I don’t care what they think” (when you care loads) “The job’s ok (it’s draining the life out of you) “It’ll be different next week” (but it wasn’t this week – or the week before that..) Self-lies are a comfort blanket – they help us to feel safe. And they’re sneaky – they’re “easy”, they’re non-controversial, they can slip under the radar because they [...]
Ok, I might be about to put myself out of business here. After all, a lot of my coaching is about working with people to help them shift, change and improve. But the idea of acceptance is one that has become increasingly important to me and, as it’s been cropping up in my coaching space too, I thought I’d share more. I’m passionate about transformation and growth, finding ways to release the stuff that holds us back. But I [...]
I came across some interesting research recently (even though it's pretty old). In a 1998 study, 128 children aged 10-11 were given maths problems to solve. After the first set of questions, some children were told “You did really well - you’re so clever”, the rest were told “You did really well - you must have tried really hard.” They were then given more difficult maths problems. Those who had been praised for their efforts solved more problems and worried less about [...]
Ok, one final blog on perfectionism from me (for now - it's a topic that keeps on giving!). In case you missed it, I'm in the midst of a 4 part blog series all about perfectionism, what it means and why it could be getting in your way - and what to do about it. You can catch up here: #1: Am I a Perfectionist? #2: Is Perfectionism a Problem? #3: How To Overcome Perfectionism So you should now [...]
So we’ve dug deep as to why perfectionism might actually be getting in your way (missed it? Check out the 2 previous blogs here and here). That instead of helping you to reach new heights, and deliver excellence in all you do, perfectionism is only making it far more difficult – and oh so stressful. So how to overcome procrastination? How to move towards a more balanced approach, where you have confidence, vision and purpose? Where you’re on your [...]
Some of the problems your perfectionism might be causing I’m often asked “is perfectionism is problem?”. My answer is yes, but it can be a hard sell sometimes to my perfectionist clients. Many associate perfectionism with high standards, achieving new heights, exceptionalism, ambition, success…The list goes on with many things we value highly in our society. (BTW if you wondering if you are a perfectionist, check out my first blog in this series here.) But the impact of [...]
