Are you feeling stuck right now? Have you taken time to notice how you react to suggestions, new possibilities and different options?
You might be struggling with what I call the “instant no”? Or perhaps more accurately, it’s not so much of a hard no (because we’re also the people who often find it tricky to set clear boundaries). It’s probably more of a “hmm, not sure that’s for me”, a “but what if..” or a “that’s beyond me; too much; not possible”*
(* delete as appropriate).
This is a common theme in my coaching space – and in honesty, it’s one I have to constantly work on myself. It’s where we generate options and work out what we really desire. But rather than exploring these possibilities further and giving them chance to breathe, an inner resistance comes up and gives a million reasons why this isn’t the way to go.
And that resistance feels like “logic” so we either don’t notice, or we accept what we’re being told by that inner voice. And, I believe, this can be one of the biggest blocks to:
So you hear about a new possibility or a different option and your mind instantly says no – and then gives you endless reasons why that’s the right call.
It focuses on a list of possible issues if you do this (and of course takes no notice of any of the downsides if you don’t). It never looks at the issues of being stuck with something that isn’t working for you. And it doesn’t considers the opportunity cost of no change.
Oh, and then add that to some perfectionism or an all-or-nothing trait and you’ll see the new route as involving a massive amount of effort to reach that (perfect) end result. And you’ll question your ability, your capability, your skill to do it. And you’ll feel even more confident in your “no”.