Learning how to say no (and hold healthy boundaries)

Are there times when you say yes, when you really want to say no?  That's been a common theme in my coaching this week.  Many of my clients have people-pleasing traits and that means it can be difficult not to automatically take things on when asked, fearful of not being liked, of causing disappointment or - a biggie - of encountering conflict.  And the impact of this can be: feeling tired, stressed, and resentful when you're juggling too many balls getting [...]

Is that still true? Changing the narrative

Prefer to listen rather than read?  You can hear an AI-generated voiceover of this blog here: It's amazing the stories we tell ourselves.  The constant narratives we have about who we are, what we can and can't do, even what has happened to us and what that now means.  Our brains love a good story, and our nervous systems love familiarity and hence these narratives get bedded in.   But what if they're not [...]

2023-06-20T13:53:24+00:0020 June 2023|Categories: Confidence, Self Care, Self confidence, Self esteem|Tags: , , , , , , , |Comments Off on Is that still true? Changing the narrative

Is it just me?

I adore my clients and am fascinated by their lives, their stories, their dreams and ambitions.  And, of course, they are all wonderfully unique. But you'd be amazed by how similar the themes are in our coaching sessions.  Topics that I bang on here regularly, like: being stressed, frazzled and trapped on a hamster wheel never feeling good enough being stuck, procrastinating and spinning on the spot being the "imposter", about to be caught out at any minute negative [...]

Taking action (and overcoming procrastination, freeze and being stuck)

As a rule, I don't do politics here but I wanted to share what I was up to last weekend.  I got on a train at a shockingly early time last Saturday and headed down to the Extinction Rebellion Big One in London.  A 4 day legal and non-disruptive demonstration to draw attention to the climate emergency and loss of biodiversity - something I care deeply about.I wasn't there to glue myself to roads, smash windows or get arrested (XR [...]

Are you making things harder for yourself? Take some rocks out of the backpack

This is one my fave analogies and has been cropping up a lot this week with my coaching.  I work with ambitious people who often have complex demands on their time and energy, big decisions to make, difficult stuff to deal with.  And that means life can be tricky. And we do great work helping them to reduce their stress, build resilience and find clarity, productivity and new ways to harness their strengths. Fab. But the real big shifts [...]

Avoidant attachment style and sharing the real you

Avoidant attachment style, authenticity and sharing the real you.... I'm fascinated my Attachment Theory and work with it often with clients.  It's a psychological theory based on the premise that our early-life experiences create blueprints for all our relationship patterns.  If our primary childhood caregivers were unable to meet our needs of safety, trust, love etc. (for whatever reason - this isn't a blame game), then secure attachment is inhibited.  I could go on endlessly here but this week my main [...]

Are you working beyond capacity?

Right now. I'm coaching many people who are struggling to make energetic ends meet.  They're overworked, under rested, on a hamster wheel of stress and never catching up.  And this is at home as well as work.   They're working beyond capacity and burnout looms.There's a lot of under-resourced organisations out there, meaning over-stretched people.  And entrepreneurs are trying to keep their businesses afloat in tricky times, attempting to do everything themselves.  Plus the demands of home and kids keep [...]

Know Your Value: It doesn’t have to be blood, sweat and tears

An old favourite topic return to my coaching space this week - challenging the notion that slog and graft is the way we prove our worth and value.So many of us seem to feel the need to show that we're working, that we're delivering, that we're earning our keep is by providing blood, sweat and tears. Many of us - indeed our society - seems very tied to the idea that we have to PROVE our value with effort, [...]

Gratitude & Self Esteem: Using gratitude to feel better about yourself

One of the many benefits shown from practicing regular gratitude is feeling better about other people, and having stronger connections.  So how about using a similar technique to start feeling better about yourself? Here's how gratitude can boost your self esteem. (Last week’s blog's was all about how much a regular gratitude practice might help - and how to make a start.  Check it out if you missed it or need a refresher.) Biggest obstacle I see that’s [...]

Feeling stuck? Perhaps because the answer’s no

Are you feeling stuck right now?  Can I ask how you react to suggestions, new possibilities and different options? You might be struggling with the "instant no"?  Or perhaps more accurately, it's not so much of a hard no (because we're also the people who often find it tricky to set clear boundaries).  It's probably more of a "hmm, not sure that's for me", a "but what if.." or a "that's beyond me; too much; not possible"* (* delete [...]