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It’s amazing the stories we tell ourselves. The constant narratives we have about who we are, what we can and can’t do, even what has happened to us and what that now means. Our brains love a good story, and our nervous systems love familiarity and hence these narratives get bedded in.
But what if they’re not true anymore (or, to be honest, may never have been true)?
These stories can be the ones we grew up on (“she’s the quiet one”, “he was never good at maths”), sometimes they’re the ones we’ve constructed ourselves around key events in our lives that then start dictating the shots.
And the impact of this can actually be pretty limiting.
So some recent examples from the coaching space have included the person who’d been avoiding art classes or doing her garden even though she wanted to because “she’s not creative” (oh, then did them, loved them, was great at them – not that that matters if it’s a joy!)
The entrepreneur slogging away, constantly overbooking themselves and heading towards burnout because their story was still stuck in those early days of the business when there was scarcity. We’ve worked to reset that now so she can work with where her business is now (it’s doing great and has been for some time), and put in systems and beliefs so it can move to the next level, rather than always feeling hand to mouth.
Scarcity is a biggie – that story gets bedded in deep, often based on reality. But then reality changes but the chasing for more to feel safe goes on – when actually the safety comes from letting go of the story and resetting to the new norm.
I’ve been working on myself with this too. Trying to unpick some of the stories around my health to try new ways. I have a chronic-fatigue type issue which I manage pretty well but “oh you can’t do that” crops up easily. So gently, I’m experimenting to see if I can, or can find a way. I’m also a big one for “that’s not your thing” – being adamant that I won’t like something before even giving it a go. And so I’m gently trying to dip my toes in and work it out based on experiment and experience, rather than some fixed version of myself.
We’re not static creatures – our lives, our minds, our bodies, our circumstances, are always changing, I’m learning that the trick is to check our narratives are coming along too.
If you want help letting go of those old stories and the limitations they’re putting on your life, then let’s talk
Helping quiet rebels and sensitive souls to ditch the doubt, stop spinning on the spot and take their place is exactly what I do.
