I suspect when we think of “confident” people, we’re often thinking of those who are arrogant, boastful and entitled. Who think they’re great at anything and everything (I’m biting my tongue here about current politics!).
But that isn’t confidence. Confidence is based on certainty and therefore facts and truth, not just belief:
Or as children, like little sponges, we absorbed the messages not to be boastful, or “too big for our boots”, or draw attention to ourselves (wow, that’s a common one and can really leave a mark – perhaps not so prevalent now but definitely one for us children of the 70s and 80s I think!).
And so we think that any acknowledgement of our skills and successes is boastful or arrogant. Or makes us look like we think we’re better than others.
But that means we’re switching off a balanced assessment, both for ourselves and others. Because confidence is actually a rational, logical understanding of what we can do, and how we can do it well. It comes from a place of calmness, grounding and sensitivity (not narcissistic presumption). And it includes awareness of the things we can’t do, or where we need more honing and improvement.