Learning how to say no (and hold healthy boundaries)

Are there times when you say yes, when you really want to say no?  That's been a common theme in my coaching this week.  Many of my clients have people-pleasing traits and that means it can be difficult not to automatically take things on when asked, fearful of not being liked, of causing disappointment or - a biggie - of encountering conflict.  And the impact of this can be: feeling tired, stressed, and resentful when you're juggling too many balls getting [...]

Saying yes (or turning a no into a maybe)

I'm writing this a little dozy after a late night at the Bruce Springsteen concert at Stadium of Light, Sunderland.  I'll be honest - I'm no Bruce fan, I'm not one for gigs in huge stadiums, and the weather forecast was horrendous.  The tickets were a gift to Mr B who's a fan and I got dragged along. Long story short: I didn't want to go; I moaned about it a lot; I had an amazing time and absolutely loved [...]

Setting daily goals (and remembering the wins)

Daily goal setting is something many do, but often use it as a weapon rather than a tool of support.  Let me explain... This is one for those who struggle with procrastination and self punishment.  I would say these are such common battles for the people I work with - high achievers who are very hard on themselves, motivating themselves through stress, harshness and last minute deadlines. They're usually noticing that these tactics are working less effectively and the [...]

Taking action (and overcoming procrastination, freeze and being stuck)

As a rule, I don't do politics here but I wanted to share what I was up to last weekend.  I got on a train at a shockingly early time last Saturday and headed down to the Extinction Rebellion Big One in London.  A 4 day legal and non-disruptive demonstration to draw attention to the climate emergency and loss of biodiversity - something I care deeply about.I wasn't there to glue myself to roads, smash windows or get arrested (XR [...]

Are you making things harder for yourself? Take some rocks out of the backpack

This is one my fave analogies and has been cropping up a lot this week with my coaching.  I work with ambitious people who often have complex demands on their time and energy, big decisions to make, difficult stuff to deal with.  And that means life can be tricky. And we do great work helping them to reduce their stress, build resilience and find clarity, productivity and new ways to harness their strengths. Fab. But the real big shifts [...]

Avoidant attachment style and sharing the real you

Avoidant attachment style, authenticity and sharing the real you.... I'm fascinated my Attachment Theory and work with it often with clients.  It's a psychological theory based on the premise that our early-life experiences create blueprints for all our relationship patterns.  If our primary childhood caregivers were unable to meet our needs of safety, trust, love etc. (for whatever reason - this isn't a blame game), then secure attachment is inhibited.  I could go on endlessly here but this week my main [...]

Are you working beyond capacity?

Right now. I'm coaching many people who are struggling to make energetic ends meet.  They're overworked, under rested, on a hamster wheel of stress and never catching up.  And this is at home as well as work.   They're working beyond capacity and burnout looms.There's a lot of under-resourced organisations out there, meaning over-stretched people.  And entrepreneurs are trying to keep their businesses afloat in tricky times, attempting to do everything themselves.  Plus the demands of home and kids keep [...]

Know Your Value: It doesn’t have to be blood, sweat and tears

An old favourite topic return to my coaching space this week - challenging the notion that slog and graft is the way we prove our worth and value.So many of us seem to feel the need to show that we're working, that we're delivering, that we're earning our keep is by providing blood, sweat and tears. Many of us - indeed our society - seems very tied to the idea that we have to PROVE our value with effort, [...]

Gratitude & Self Esteem: Using gratitude to feel better about yourself

One of the many benefits shown from practicing regular gratitude is feeling better about other people, and having stronger connections.  So how about using a similar technique to start feeling better about yourself? Here's how gratitude can boost your self esteem. (Last week’s blog's was all about how much a regular gratitude practice might help - and how to make a start.  Check it out if you missed it or need a refresher.) Biggest obstacle I see that’s [...]

The Key to Confidence – Playing to Your Strengths (Confidence Part 3)

Prefer to listen rather than read?  You can hear an AI-generated voiceover of this blog here: Wow, my little blog on confidence has become a series, and it feels like we're still just touching the surface! But we're doing great things, and it feels like the next logical step is to start looking at how we can tune into what we're great at (and our Zone of Genius). This also means considering what [...]