Learning how to say no (and hold healthy boundaries)

Are there times when you say yes, when you really want to say no?  That's been a common theme in my coaching this week.  Many of my clients have people-pleasing traits and that means it can be difficult not to automatically take things on when asked, fearful of not being liked, of causing disappointment or - a biggie - of encountering conflict.  And the impact of this can be: feeling tired, stressed, and resentful when you're juggling too many balls getting [...]

Saying yes (or turning a no into a maybe)

I'm writing this a little dozy after a late night at the Bruce Springsteen concert at Stadium of Light, Sunderland.  I'll be honest - I'm no Bruce fan, I'm not one for gigs in huge stadiums, and the weather forecast was horrendous.  The tickets were a gift to Mr B who's a fan and I got dragged along. Long story short: I didn't want to go; I moaned about it a lot; I had an amazing time and absolutely loved [...]

Setting daily goals (and remembering the wins)

Daily goal setting is something many do, but often use it as a weapon rather than a tool of support.  Let me explain... This is one for those who struggle with procrastination and self punishment.  I would say these are such common battles for the people I work with - high achievers who are very hard on themselves, motivating themselves through stress, harshness and last minute deadlines. They're usually noticing that these tactics are working less effectively and the [...]

Having a “flare plan” – how to deal with stressful, busy times

Whilst helping people with stressful, busy times, I've started sharing the idea of a flare plan.  I highly recommend them so here's more... This is a concept I came across recently in the chronic health space and I'm a big fan (and bear with me here because I think it's really relevant for everyone, not just us chronic health-ers).  With MCAS, I can have flare ups where my health issues become more acute.  Rather than an instant deterioration, they [...]

2024-05-10T09:42:07+00:0010 May 2024|Categories: Stress, Stress and Anxiety|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |Comments Off on Having a “flare plan” – how to deal with stressful, busy times

Be More Batman – challenging limiting beliefs to take your place

I'm aware that I often talk here about a softly, softly approach when it comes to overcoming procrastination and stretching our comfort zone.  I'm very much of the Start-Small-and-Build Brigade when it comes to working with "my people", most of whom are sensitive souls (like me!).  And I do this because it works! But that doesn't mean we think small. My work is all about helping professionals and entrepreneurs ditch the imposter syndrome to take their place and embrace their big ambitions. [...]

2024-04-22T13:22:43+00:0022 April 2024|Categories: Procrastination, Stress, Stress and Anxiety|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , |Comments Off on Be More Batman – challenging limiting beliefs to take your place

Nourish or Numb?

When you're stressed, do you nourish or numb?  We often unconsciously use activities which soothe the autonomic nervous system (ANS).  This is the non-conscious part of our brain and body that is responsible for our survival (on a basic level, it's the flight or fight response). These activities help us to come back towards regulation - a calmer, more conscious Ventral state where we can choose how we act rather than react.  (BTW, I'm using the language of Polyvagal Theory [...]

Building Healthy Habits That Last: #3 Try Compassion Instead

In a previous blog, I mentioned the biggest stumbling blocks I see for those struggling to put their plans into (consistent) action - going too big, too quickly, and only focusing on the goal; not celebrating the steps to get there.  BTW this is part of a mini series of blogs about building healthy habits that last - you can see the other parts here and here... Another major stumbling block is how many of us feel that the [...]

Building Healthy Habits That Last: #2 Welcoming Change With Feedback Loops

Behaviour change is hard work.  Our systems are wired to thrive on familiarity so are never keen on doing things differently. So how do we bring in new things, and help them to feel normal and routine, so they last without gritted teeth and willpower? Wow, there's so much to help with this (as I've mentioned before and am sure to keep banging on about - I hugely recommend James Clear's Atomic Habits book). But also I'm going to share a [...]

Building Healthy Habits That Last: #1 Cast a Vote

Habit forming is such a hot topic right now, and not least in my coaching space (and dare I say, in my own life too).  We all have such great plans for who we want to be, and what we want to do - but then struggle to make that happen. And the biggest stumbling blocks I see? Going too big, too quickly Only focusing on the goal, and not celebrating the actions oh and the third one is trying [...]

Do I need coaching or counselling? Part 2

Following on from last week's post, I wanted to raise up a couple more things worth considering. Sometimes it's what's best, rather than what's preferable Often, when people hear that coaching tends to be present and future-focused whereas counselling can be about finding resolution and release of past issues, they love the sound of coaching (but as I mentioned last week, it's not always that clear cut).  Who doesn't want to forget all that old stuff and [...]