black and white thinking Archives

How to praise yourself and others
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How to praise yourself and others

Perfectionism

How to praise yourself and others

I came across some interesting research recently (even though it's pretty old). In a 1998 study, 128 children aged 10-11 were given maths problems to solve. After the first set of questions, some children were told “You did really well - you’re so clever”, the rest were told “You did really well - you must have tried really hard.” They were then given more difficult maths problems. Those who had been praised for their efforts solved more problems and worried less about [...]

Emma Byers2025-09-17T13:05:55+00:0022 August 2025|Categories: Perfectionism|Tags: all-or-nothing thinking, black and white thinking, dichotomous thinking, feel better, feel better about yourself, hard on self, need to be perfect, need to be right, never good enough, not good enough, overcoming perfectionism, perfectionism, perfectionist, praise, praise yourself, self acceptance, vicious inner critic|Comments Off

5 Tools to Tackle Your Perfectionism (#4 Perfectionism Series)
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5 Tools to Tackle Your Perfectionism (#4 Perfectionism Series)

Perfectionism

5 Tools to Tackle Your Perfectionism (#4 Perfectionism Series)

Ok, one final blog on perfectionism from me (for now - it's a topic that keeps on giving!). In case you missed it, I'm in the midst of a 4 part blog series all about perfectionism, what it means and why it could be getting in your way - and what to do about it. You can catch up here: #1: Am I a Perfectionist? #2: Is Perfectionism a Problem? #3: How To Overcome Perfectionism So you should now [...]

Emma Byers2025-09-17T12:36:47+00:0022 July 2025|Categories: Perfectionism|Tags: all-or-nothing thinking, am i a perfectionist, black and white thinking, dichotomous thinking, hard on self, need to be perfect, need to be right, never good enough, not good enough, overcoming perfectionism, perfectionism, perfectionist, Procrastination, vicious inner critic|Comments Off

How to Overcome Perfectionism (#3 Perfectionism Series)
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How to Overcome Perfectionism (#3 Perfectionism Series)

Perfectionism

How to Overcome Perfectionism (#3 Perfectionism Series)

So we’ve dug deep as to why perfectionism might actually be getting in your way (missed it? Check out the 2 previous blogs here and here). That instead of helping you to reach new heights, and deliver excellence in all you do, perfectionism is only making it far more difficult – and oh so stressful. So how to overcome procrastination? How to move towards a more balanced approach, where you have confidence, vision and purpose? Where you’re on your [...]

Emma Byers2025-06-29T19:20:07+00:0029 June 2025|Categories: Perfectionism|Tags: all-or-nothing thinking, am i a perfectionist, black and white thinking, dichotomous thinking, hard on self, never good enough, not good enough, perfectionism, perfectionist, Procrastination, vicious inner critic|Comments Off

Is Perfectionism a Problem? (#2 Perfectionism Series)
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Is Perfectionism a Problem? (#2 Perfectionism Series)

Perfectionism

Is Perfectionism a Problem? (#2 Perfectionism Series)

Some of the problems your perfectionism might be causing I’m often asked “is perfectionism is problem?”. My answer is yes, but it can be a hard sell sometimes to my perfectionist clients. Many associate perfectionism with high standards, achieving new heights, exceptionalism, ambition, success…The list goes on with many things we value highly in our society. (BTW if you wondering if you are a perfectionist, check out my first blog in this series here.) But the impact of [...]

Emma Byers2025-06-13T10:00:48+00:0013 June 2025|Categories: Perfectionism|Tags: all-or-nothing thinking, am i a perfectionist, black and white thinking, dichotomous thinking, hard on self, never good enough, not good enough, perfectionism, perfectionist, Procrastination, vicious inner critic|Comments Off

Am I A Perfectionist? (#1 Perfectionism Series)
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Am I A Perfectionist? (#1 Perfectionism Series)

Perfectionism

Am I A Perfectionist? (#1 Perfectionism Series)

Some signs that you might be a perfectionist - and why it's getting in your way Am I a perfectionist? Me? No. I'm not good enough...I don't work hard enough...I'm not organised enough to be a perfectionist (hint - these phrases themselves suggest there's at least some perfectionism!)There's quite a lot of misunderstanding about what perfectionism is, and how it shows up. And even whether it's a bad thing or not. It's not a great term - we [...]

Emma Byers2025-06-13T08:54:48+00:0029 May 2025|Categories: Perfectionism|Tags: all-or-nothing thinking, am i a perfectionist, black and white thinking, dichotomous thinking, hard on self, never good enough, not good enough, perfectionism, perfectionist, Procrastination, vicious inner critic|Comments Off

Overcoming all-or-nothing thinking
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Overcoming all-or-nothing thinking

Black and White Thinking, Black and White Thinking Perfectionism, Perfectionism

Overcoming all-or-nothing thinking

Overcoming all-or-nothing, black and white thinking, or dichotomous thinking (they're all the same thing!) All-or-nothing thinking is a common theme in my coaching - I'll never be able to do this, if this doesn't work it's a failure, if I don't do x, it will have to be y... We all do it and it's not that big a deal occasionally, But when this becomes a consistent pattern, or mindset, it can really make things tough. What is all-or-nothing thinking?All-or-nothing [...]

Emma Byers2025-08-19T23:32:49+00:0029 May 2025|Categories: Black and White Thinking, Black and White Thinking Perfectionism, Perfectionism|Tags: all-or-nothing thinking, black and white thinking, dichotomous thinking, hard on self, never good enough, not good enough, perfectionism, vicious inner critic|Comments Off

Embrace the Grey – Escaping the Confines of Black and White Thinking
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Embrace the Grey – Escaping the Confines of Black and White Thinking

Black and White Thinking Perfectionism, Perfectionism

Embrace the Grey – Escaping the Confines of Black and White Thinking

Ever find yourself thinking of your options and seeing only two? How often does that inner critic tell you that if you’re not the best, you’re the absolute worst? And I’m sure I’m not the only one who struggles to find any compassion when some public figure says something horrendous. So many people seem prone to black and white thinking – it’s a frequent theme in my coaching. The occasional blip is probably no big deal but when it’s [...]

Emma Byers2025-08-19T22:45:46+00:0027 February 2020|Categories: Black and White Thinking Perfectionism, Perfectionism|Tags: anxiety, black and white thinking, dualistic thinking, extremes, limiting options, pressure, self esteem, stress|Comments Off

black and white thinking

How to praise yourself and others

5 Tools to Tackle Your Perfectionism (#4 Perfectionism Series)

How to Overcome Perfectionism (#3 Perfectionism Series)

Is Perfectionism a Problem? (#2 Perfectionism Series)

Am I A Perfectionist? (#1 Perfectionism Series)

Overcoming all-or-nothing thinking

Embrace the Grey – Escaping the Confines of Black and White Thinking

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